When All You Want is Cereal...

Life hands you bad milk. You know how things go, they even have a law named for the phenomena. Things like when you are running late and your car won't start or you get stuck behind the wide load for 20 miles down the interstate.

Even worst yet you start depending on child support even though you know your ex can't be counted on for anything other than disappointment. He pays for a few months after more than a year of threats and then he stops again. You got use to it being there, and even though you know you shouldn't and you check every single week to make sure you did or are going to.

So what does he make sure he does? He makes sure you have no way of contacting him to let him know that there may be an error somewhere in the line that he needs to take care of. He tells you that all you want is the money even though you offered him the house he made sure you could no longer afford and had to move out of and told him if he moved there you would share 50/50 custody and no child support. He never sees his daughter and says it is your fault stating he can't afford it because you make him pay child support. He doesn't let you point out the fact that maybe him quiting a job where he he was making over $2000 a month to be a pizza boy may have more to do with the fact he doesn't have any money. He makes you out to be the bad guy to everyone you and he knows, but also when he does happen to see his daughter he bad mouths you once every couple of years. He doesn't call his daughter saying he doesn't want to talk to you even though you repeatedly tell him there is such thing as caller ID and scheduled times. He makes sure he acts like an idiot, and not a father or a man.

Onward and Upward

So in 10 days we are heading back to Gatlinburg. In 10 days it is my first year anniversary and Gatlinburg is where we went for our honeymoon. This time we are taking 2/3rds of the kids. The baby went last time even though he didn't have much of a view. My main concern is taking my daughter to go hiking or even to the streets of Gatlinburg (any busy place really). She has a tendency to do what ever she wants to do and not listen. You know fall of the face of a cliff just to spite me... She is dying to go though, she will tell you she has never been on vacation. I tell her before kindergarten there was nothing to go on vacation from.

We are also taking my 18 year old stepson. I have no concerns about him, he's the quiet type. maybe we'll bore him to death or something. I am happy for my husband to finally get to do something with his son. I think this will be there first vacation together, and it may be the last. If the age of his son doesn't stop him the next time the economy might stop all vacations anyway. Hopefully he will enjoy it.

I'm a nature girl. Some people don't think that about me, but when I see a story about hiking the Appalachian Trail , I think wow that looks like fun. Of course I can't find anyone that agrees. I think people don't guess it about me because to me there is a difference with being outside and being outdoors. My yard is boring, national forests with potential for bear attacks are not.

We bought a new camera because on our honeymoon at least 50% of our pictures were blurry. It had never failed us before, but the one picture my husband and I had together was useless. So now we have a very nice new camera and last night my husband bought us a tripod for it. We also stayed at a hotel last time. This time we rented a cabin since we have the kids and there was no way I was being cooped up in the same room as my daughter and this is suppose to be a vacation. We will all have our own rooms in a cabin bigger than our house.

Last time there were maids who wanted a tip. Here is their tip... next time they want to make a rude comment about a client they should make sure they are out of ear shot...

The Gym

I finally went. My husband has been paying for it for months, but I always have the kids with me and even though they have a kid watch I wouldn't subject those poor people to watching my daughter. If her own grandmother has a very hard time not refusing to keep her for the weekend, why heap that on to someone else?

So at 5:15 AM my alarm went off, and for anyone out there that knows me: Yes, I was asleep and no I was not just taking a nap. I was actually pretty motivated for someone that hadn't seen the inside of a gym in 6 years. I did leave a bit later than I had intended because I was checking out the blogs, but I got there, and that is all that matters.

I didn't work out very long, little over half an hour. I didn't want to completely kill myself because I knew I wouldn't go back. I warmed up on the bike, the one were the pedals are way out in front of you. My feet didn't like that at all, but I made it through the warm up and tried to do the elliptical next. I failed. I was on maybe 3 minutes and had to stop. I went to the tread mill after that and started it out very slow because even that three minutes killed my thighs, but I got it up to a bit above normal walking speed on an incline. I finished out there, walked a cool down, and went home.

My muscles were decently tired, but I wasn't in pain. I figure for a first day why go all out, ruin the whole experience and the weekend. The main thing is I feel good about it, which means I'll be there bright and early on Monday.

So why did I finally go? I have always been a stick. During pregnancies I gain A LOT of weight, and then it takes a while for it to go away, but it goes away on it's own. I have a high school reunion coming up. I don't have time to wait. Another reason is that I have a friend that lost the weight she wanted to and she looks FABULOUS and I am a little jealous. Only in the way that motivated me to get off my rear end and do something like I have been saying I would. So hopefully I can at least lose a few pounds. Honestly I feel great. I know it didn't but when looking at myself I think I look better all ready. And shouldn't I, I took the first step in getting healthy and looking my best.

Just a tidbit, I don't know how much I weight nor do I care to know. I am not looking to get a set weight or size, I just want to feel better about myself.

It's Raining, It's Pouring...

The old man can finally sleep after days of lies from the weather man. It has been suppose to storm for at least the past three days. Yesterday the extent was maybe three small claps of thunder, but not a drop of rain. Not a single drop we were told to expect from the forecasts. I think the town I live in resides itself in a small belt or window in which the rain refuses to fall for the most part. It either rains one county north of us, or across the river which is two counties away if you count the span of this one. The weather reports are from across the river, but my husband said it didn't rain there either. He works on their side of the river.

Last month half of this state was drowned in 11 inches of rain in a few hours, we didn't get a single drop. My husband wasn't concerned with the flooding because we didn't see any rain so there for it must not of happened. One county above us they were evacuating. My sister had to hop in her ambulance to help move people from a hospital. By the time she had moved one the roads were closed and she couldn't get back to help anymore. An old friend from high school lost her apartment and both her cars in a flash flood. Then it started raining in Iowa and people forget half the state of Indiana had flooded out. I don't know how much of the state of Iowa is flooded but from my understanding it just seems to be along the Mississippi. I could be wrong, but if I am right that is not half a state. I just find it odd that even with disasters we are only interested in the latest thing. Not that Iowa shouldn't be getting attention, but I don't believe the people of Indiana should have been so hastily forgotten.

Another Day, Another Ailment...

Well at least that is how it feels now that I actually am getting older. I remember sitting across the desk from the doctor I had after I got out of the military. I was 23, and he's excuses for me feeling the way I did was I was getting older. I could have jumped across the desk to strangle him every time he said it. I was 23 years old and my great grandfather was having any easier time getting around. Those doctors the military medical insurance pay for are really something, it seems they don't really give a hoot because everything is 100% covered.

Anyway, I had noticed my eyesight just isn't what it use to be and after finally getting some insurance to cover it, (although the VA probably does cover eyes, I am afraid of the frames I would be stuck with. If any of you have seen pictures of bootcamp with soldiers or Marines in their glasses, this is not a fashion statement...) Well normally, when ever that chart flashes near or far I can spout them of like I had them memorized. When he put them on yesterday I realized just how bad my eyes had gotten in the past couple of years, and I couldn't see crap, at least not at a distance. Up close I could read the print written by ants, but far away YIKES. So I have to wear glasses now, but they aren't in yet. The only people I had with me were my 6 year old daughter and my 8 month old son. Everything I tried on looked like a teacher to her, and I was suppose to look like a mommy, and the only thing he was saying was he just wanted to go home and lay down because he had been out and about all day. These are not reliable sources of whether you look like a dork or not. I guess in a week and a half we will all see...

Tag, I'm It!

A-ATTACHED OR SINGLE? Attached to my soul mate.

B-BEST FRIEND? Audra, who else would know that they can call at 3am and know you are awake? My husband, the only man that has the same connection with me as Audra does. In both cases I don't even have to say what is in my head because they are already saying it. Literally, quite freaky really. Jodi, tough times require tough friends, the friend that I can talk to about husbands and kids. My mom, who else can you talk to everyday without running out of something to say. I can say ANYTHING to her and she respects my opinion.

C-CAKE or PIE? Pie at the Golden Gables in the wee hours of the AM. Where's that notebook and pen? Probably should pick up a waitress on the way there that doesn't interpret my waving as a friendly gesture..

D-DAY of CHOICE? Friday, because it's both weekday and weekend. So is Monday but it's actually weekend and week-start, big difference.

E-ESSENTIAL ITEMS? Pen, Paper, my camera and almost hate to say it, my computer. I would go bananas without it.

F-FAVORITE COLOR? Blue, because it is all kinds of things. The sky, the sea, an emotion, a skin color...

G-GUMMY BEARS OR WORMS? Worms because my mom use to make us pretend we were her baby birds.

H-HOMETOWN? Cayce, SC and Bedford, IN

I-INDULGENCE? SILENCE, a trip to the mountains, nature

J-JANUARY OR JULY? Both, January is my birthday, July for summer and my anniversary.

K-KIDS? Three, one 18 year old stepson, a 6 year old daughter, and an 8 months old son.

L-LIFE ISN’T COMPLETE WITHOUT… words. If you don't express them when you are angry, you stay angry. If you didn't tell someone how you felt, you regret it. They can make you feel the highest highs and the lowest lows, but without them there wouldn't be any meaning to anything.

M-MARRIAGE DATE? July 20th, 2007. The most perfect day there ever was, all days leading up to and after that date were in the high 90s temperature wise and that day it was mid 70s without a cloud in the sky. I also married my soul mate, we have never fought, most people think that strange or a lie... I wonder why?

N-NUMBER OF SIBLINGS? Two, both younger, a sister and a brother.

O-ORANGES OR APPLES? haven't you heard you can't compare the two? I like them both.

P-PHOBIAS OR FEARS? I don't know, my kids being injured freaks me out. My daughter getting her ears pierced sent me running to the opposite side of the mall wanting to pass out or barf. Spiders creep me out, but at least I see their purpose. The only purpose I see for mosquitoes is to carry diseases, but I guess even that is a purpose right?

Q-QUOTE? "In creating, the only hard thing is to begin: a grass blade's no easier to make than an oak." James Russell Lowell

R-REASON TO SMILE? waking up, having all your teeth, a 6 year old's logic, a baby's laughter, a husband's love

S-SUPERMAN OR WONDER WOMAN? I say wonder woman only for the simple fact of I love that a girls can kick butt too. Other than that I don't know anything about either.

T-TAG 5 PEOPLE. Audra, Jodi, Stefanie, Heather, and Mama

U-UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME? I WILL NOT wear elastic pants in public (except pregnant of course), but when I am home it is all I wear.

V-VEGETABLES? Corn, Brussel Sprouts, anything really except peas and carrots.

W-WORST HABIT? I have no patience, and with an ADHD daughter this can be very difficult.

X-RAY OR ULTRASOUND? I have had both, x-rays until the point of nausea and having to go home and pass out for the rest of the day and ultrasounds not related to babies, I prefer the ultrasounds, except the internal one... That was creepy...

Y-YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? RIBEYE steak

Z-ZODIAC SIGN? Capricorn, you can read about it if you want here.

A Year and an Half

Last January I said I would be writing more. I intended to, I even had a whole blog set up for my new house to be, all the projects had been laid out and had percentage bars all set to receive awardment for the day. (I know, but damn it sounds so good…) So what happened? We had 100% financing guaranteed, and then the inspector inspected. Well the house was no longer a single family home, and couldn’t be financed without 10% down, which we didn’t have, we were a couple of grand short. So the seller kept our $500 good faith money since we couldn’t buy it. In my opinion really stinks because we had guaranteed backing until they changed the rules on us. So we lost are 3 story not including attic and basement Victorian fixer upper. Then I got pregnant, so on one tiny hand it was a blessing to lose the house, but I still want it.

Here’s what else happened:
Lots of doctor appointments, my fiancé (now husband) got sick, more appointments, still trying to sell house, wedding planning, still trying to sell house, doctor’s appointments, wedding, honeymoon, daughter starting school, daughter getting in trouble at school, doctor appointments for my daughter, ADHD for my daughter, appointments every week for medication for daughter, still doctor’s appointments for me, baby is born, more doctors appointments for baby, appointments for me, appointments for daughter’s eyes, she now has ADHD and lazy eye, Thanksgiving, Christmas, daughter still has at least one appointment a month, my birthday, one year since we lost our Victorian house, daughter’s birthday, still going to appointments, kindergarten graduation, stepson’s high school graduation, summer vacation, and now getting ready for our mountain vacation and daughter’s eye surgery.

I have been pretty busy. I got a new computer somewhere in there, and new furniture which is a whole other story. We still live in the same house. My husband is fine they say, although they never did figure out what was wrong. My computer is supposed to be this nice machine, but something is wrong with it. Going to have to have it repaired sometime. I have some work I am going to do on this house so that if and when the housing market actually comes back to life it will be ready. Our house lost half of its value in 6 months by the way. Everyone wants to fool themselves and say oh no one is giving loans right now because of credit. That isn’t it, if banks don’t give loans there is no bank. The loans people want cannot be covered with the house the person owns anymore most likely. So I have been busy, even if it wasn’t writing here but I am going to try at least once a week. Once a week doesn’t sound as hard to manage…